For Anyone Complaining in the Wake of Irma

For those of you complaining about ANYthing at all today...

      This post is for those of you complaining about not having power and those of you complaining about those complaining about not having power and any other complaint on the table today. Tragedy stinks. I get it. I really do. All we heard for an entire week was hurricane Irma this and hurricane Irma that and watch out for the storm surge and "get out while you can!" Then the storm hit and everything went dark (and hot and sticky) for days. And the enormity of the silence after all that talking.... Some of us are STILL without power. Some of us have had to throw away entire refrigerators full of food. Some of us don't even have a home left to put a refrigerator in.

      And so I get it. Social media (mainly Facebook) is a way to connect with others, vent our frustrations and even in some weird, intangible way, bear one another's burdens. It is also, thanks to the mobile network, the only link many of us have to the outside world after being plunged into darkness and silence by this beast of a storm due to power and internet loss.

       As a society, our bend has become "sharing" our lives and happiness and sadness and whatever other emotions drive us on a daily basis. So when something like this happens and gives us an actual reason to get our stories out there but we actually can't because we are cut off from the proverbial "grid", of course we are going to flock to the one outlet we have to connect with the world outside of our dark, hot and sticky homes.

      Think about it. The power and internet is down. You can't watch the news talk about the storm anymore. You can't cook anything on your electric stove. You can't even give up and go to sleep because you have no air conditioner. You can't go out on the roads to escape the miserable situation at home because everyone else is also experiencing the same situation. Also, it is just plain DANGEROUS to be driving around when there are virtually NO street lights or police readily available. So, I totally get that people want to take to social media to complain, rant, rave, praise, cry....whatever. That's ok. I just want to say to each and every one of you, no matter what you are complaining about, I hear you. I am right there venting with you. I hear and feel your pain.

      This storm was awful. Downright unfeeling and merciless. No, I cannot imagine what it is like for those down south who lost their entire lives. I cannot imagine what it feels like to see every memory you've ever made washed away by the ocean. I cannot imagine what it feels like to have a loved one out working for hours and even days at a time to restore the lives of people who are only complaining and moaning about how long it is taking to make them comfortable again. I also cannot imagine what it would feel like to be 5+ days with no power in 90 degree plus weather. I really cannot (nor do I want to) imagine what being without power in those conditions for 5+ days WITH YOUNG CHILDREN feels like.

      Would I want to take to the one outlet I could in order to connect with my fellow humans in search of some shred of sympathy and encouragement? Absolutely. Would I want to go to the one place I could freely rant and release my frustration and possibly receive a "I feel ya sister!" in return? Heck yes! I think we all can relate.

       But just remember that tragedy takes no names and plays no favorites, my friends. That person you are blasting on Facebook for complaining about the electric company taking forever could be your very own neighbor. She could be the one who calls you into her door when the storm rips your roof clean off your house and you are forced to the street with your family. Likewise, the electric company worker that you are complaining about taking forever could be the very one who donated the money to the charity that gave you the assistance you needed to get back on your feet after the storm. You just never know, my friend.

       So I get that we all need to vent and we all need to feel validated in our frustration. But please, before we call someone an idiot or tell them to "shut the **** up and sit down" let's try to put ourselves in the other person's shoes. Let's try to remember that the ones we are condemning and humiliating, while their suffering may be different from ours, are still suffering. And to them, not knowing what it is like in your shoes, it is the worst suffering right now.

       The bible says we are supposed to give grace as we ourselves have received it. And as one of the biggest receivers (and daily needers)of grace, I am dolling it out in abundance. I hear you, I validate you, I feel you! Sister, brother, friend....neighbor. My prayer is that we all can find it in our hearts to offer grace in the face of unreasonableness, selfishness, and (most importantly) in the face of suffering. That we can all come back together as a community and lift each other up online the way I've seen us do in real life. After all, if we think back real hard, haven't we all at one time or another been a little unreasonable and selfish ourselves? Isn't this what Jesus meant when He said we should be mindful of the log in our own eye before we try to take the spec out of our brother's eye? More importantly, isn't this what He meant when He said "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy"?

Seek First....

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you" Matthew 6:33
(**This post was actually written yesterday, August 21, 2017. I just didn't get to post it here until now!**)
 
       This morning, I had some alone time with God and I wanted to share with you what I learned. I was reading in Matthew the sermon that Jesus gave on the mount. More specifically, I was reading the part where Jesus is telling the poeple to stop worrying about what they will eat or drink or even wear. I've heard this passage preached and read it in devotionals more times than I can remember and the message is always the same: God doesn't want you to worry, He will take care of it. While I believe that is true, I think there is something missing.
 
       Jesus said, "You cannot serve two masters. You cannot serve both God and money" God said in Isaiah that HE is the Lord and He will NOT give His glory to another. God is God. He is the beginning and the end, the first and the last, the Creator of ALL creation, the executor of judgment and the giver of grace. His glory and power and might and wisdom and all that He is is so much so that He doesn't even need meaningless words to describe Him. He tells Moses in Exodus, "Tell them I AM has sent you." He is.
 
       So when we worry and fret about having "enough" (I believe) we are essentially robbing God of the glory and honor and praise that rightly belongs to Him. When we worry or become anxious about something we essentially make that thing our master over God. 2 Peter 2:19 says by what a man is overcome, by this he is enslaved.

(Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about life's surprises that come along once in awhile and knock your feet out from under you and leave you on your knees crying out to Jesus for help. Sometimes we all go through things that divert our attention to the circumstance over the One in control of the circumstance. But I am talking about a life and a heart that is characterized by worry and stress and a constant state of striving.)
 
        When we worry and stress, we are not just robbing ourselves of peace, we are robbing our God of His rightful praise and honor. We are robbing Him of His rightful place in our lives. Hebrews 13:5 says to be content with what we have. Why? Not because God is greedy. Not because He doesn't have enough to give. But it is because Jesus Himself said "I will never leave you or forsake you." Jesus Christ who is God and who is with God said He will NEVER LEAVE US! And He, who is worthy of all praise, who's name is above every single name there is or ever will be, who actually has every right that we think we should have ourselves, has said He will be to us everything we could ever need. When we worry about sufficiency, we not only are saying we don't trust Him to give us what we need but, more importantly, we are denying His ALL-sufficiency for us.
 
        Jesus asked the people, "How many of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" The answer is none. Because worrying accomplishes nothing except taking our focus off Jesus and His sufficiency for us. Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you. What are you seeking today? I confess that I have been guilty of seeking "enough". Even "more than enough". But Jesus promised if we seek Him first, He will take care of all our needs (Matthew 6:33, Phillipians 4:19). Let's give our glory and honor and praise back to the One it rightfully belongs to and give our allegience back to the rightful master, Jesus Christ our LORD and Savior.

Ask, Seek, and Knock

"Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you" Matthew 7:7

       During my quiet time with God this morning, I got to finish reading the sermon that Jesus gave on the mount. You know it’s amazing how easy it for us to take a piece of scripture out of the bible and make it stand on its own. I can't tell you how many times I've done this. But when we do this, we are not getting the whole story. We do not have all the facts. It is similar to taking a piece out of the puzzle and trying to make it become a picture on its own. 

       I can't tell you how many times I've heard, read, and even sung the verse above. And the message I've always gotten from it was that if I am really persistent in my prayers God will give me whatever I want. This morning I realized the error in my thinking. I don't believe that's what Jesus was saying at all. I believe what He was saying was so much deeper and more beautiful than that!

       A wise person once showed me in other areas of scripture how God will often use progression words to make a point. Psalms 1 is a great example. The psalmist talks first of walking, then standing, then sitting with people who have no interest in Godly things. First you are walking, then you get comfortable so you stop and hang around for a while (standing), then you get really comfortable and take a load off (sitting). Now, you are one of them. The point, I believe, the psalmist was trying to make was that turning your back on God doesn't happen all at once. It's a slow and sneaky process which is why we need to be careful!

        When Jesus said to the people to ask, seek and knock, I believe He was using progression words to make a point. First, you ask Jesus into your heart. Then, you seek His kingdom and His righteousness. Last, you go right up to the door of heaven itself and knock because you know, being an adopted child of God, you belong there!

The most beautiful thing to me is the response of the Son of God to these instructions....
      
       Ask, He said, and it WILL be given you. He's saying, "If you ask Me to come into your heart, I will!" In Revelation He says, "I stand at the door and knock. If anyone lets Me in I will come and make my home in him." And remember, it is impossible for God to lie. So if He says His answer will be yes when you ask Him in, then you can rest assure His answer will be YES!

        Seek, He says, and you will find. He's saying, "If you seek Me with all your heart, you will find Me!" Seeking requires movement, action. When you are hunting, you cannot find game unless you go out and seek it. The deer or rabbit or whatever it is you are hungry for is not going to come right up to you and say "Here I am. Go ahead and shoot!" You must go out and seek it. So it is with the kingdom of heaven. If you stay in the same place spiritually you will never find it. (I am not saying at all here that you must work to obtain your salvation. Salvation cannot be possessed by anything we could ever do or say. That is why, I believe, Jesus says to ask first. You cannot even begin seeking unless you first have the Spirit of God in you to motivate and empower you!)

        Knock, He says, and the door will be opened to you. He's saying "I have adopted you into my family. Come right up to the door and knock because you are welcome here!" I love this because Jesus said in John 10:7 that He, Himself, is the door for the sheep. If we ask Jesus into our hearts, we are essentially inviting the very Doorway to Heaven into our hearts. And He says, "Yes! I will open the door for you!"

        I really wanted to share this with you this morning because for a long time I thought this verse (along with others like it) meant whatever whim or desire I had on earth could be granted if I can just be persistent enough. The problem with this thinking is that it not only lowers Jesus Christ from the all-powerful, all-knowing, all-sufficient God that He is down to more of a genie in a bottle, but when the Lord sees fit to leave your prayers unanswered, what then? There begins to grow a disconnect in your heart and you begin to doubt His love for you.

        No, our God is much more loving and wise and powerful than to just give us everything we want whenever we desire. (Parents, do you give your children everything they want? I certainly hope not!) Jesus is promising something much deeper and more beautiful and eternal here than answers to earthly prayers. Colossians 3:2 tells us to set our minds on heavenly things and not on earthly things. 1 Corinthians 2:9 talks about the wonderful things that nobody has seen or heard that God has prepared for those who love Him.

       Don't get me wrong, our earthly prayers are important and even commanded by the Lord. But I believe when Jesus is saying ask, seek, and knock, He is talking about Himself and the kingdom of heaven. It is not that we should not pray for our own lives and the lives of those around us, but I think the important thing is to have eternity in mind when we are praying.

Coffee and Water

"No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other"

I was thinking this morning, on my way to work, about the daily struggle I endure between my cherished coffee and the ever healthy (yet ever tasteless) water. Stay with me here. So I love (LOVE) my coffee during work. It serves as not only a pick-me-up for that afternoon lull when I could put my head down and dream away right there on my desk, but also as sort of a warm, fuzzy blanket for my tummy. Yum! 

However, I also know that I need to be drinking more water. It's healthy, it's thirst-quenching, and just all-around good. So usually I come into work and go get myself a nice, hot cup of coffee and a nice, cold glass of water and figure on drinking them both throughout the day. I reason with myself that I can take a sip of coffee then a sip of water and so on. The only problem is that usually the coffee wins out and the water ends up sitting, untouched, on my desk and my body ends up missing out on the healthy benefits of the water.

This morning it got me to thinking about this verse where Jesus is telling the people that you cannot serve two masters. If you are going to follow Jesus, He has to be the most important. If you are trying to live your life for Jesus but also the things of the world, as He said, you will love the one and despise the other. It probably won't be intentional. And you may even do a good job of splitting your affections equally at first. But eventually, the things of the world (your coffee, your sweets, your bank account, your tv  shows...)will end up stealing all your attention. 
Now, I realize the decision whether to drink coffee or water is not a life altering decision and in light of eternity it is pretty minuscule. However, God showed me that this can be a metaphor for approaching our relationship with Jesus. Are we willing to put down the "tasty" thing in order to pick up that which is best for us? I began to wonder what other areas of my life I was willing to share my devotion with. Where else was I dividing my affections? 

If you're realizing, like me this morning, that you have been trying to serve two masters in any area of your life, you are not alone. I'm so thankful that we have a loving God who gives us verses and analogies such as coffee and water to show us where we are failing and lovingly point us back to the right direction. 

Father, I pray that you will help me see the areas in my life where I have been dividing my affection and attention and help me to give it all back to You to whom it rightfully belongs. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Why I Do Not Believe Abortion Is Ever The Answer

     With the upcoming election and political debates going on the past few weeks, there has been so much talk about the issue of abortion and I feel like I need to speak out about this topic. Yes, yes, I know everyone and their mother has an opinion on either this topic or some other politically charged issue but that is not where I am trying to go with this post. This is not a political post but a spiritual one. I have heard many arguments (and even gotten into a few myself) on why this practice should be allowed and I'd like the time and space to explain why I do not agree. (Facebook to me just seems too hostile of an environment already and I've already stuck my foot in my mouth more than once on there anyway!)

     ****Disclaimer!! Let me just say, first off, that just because I do not feel the same way as you about an issue does not mean I do not love you. A person can love another human without loving their beliefs.****

      Like I said, I've heard many reasons why people think a woman should have the right to decide if the life of her baby should continue or not. I'd have to say the argument of "my body, my choice" is the one that gets me the most. Let me just say first (with as much love as I can possibly express through my keyboard), that it is NOT your body. Yes, there is a teeny, tiny human body inside of your body but that does not mean you get to do whatever you see fit with it. This human, while dwelling inside of you, is completely separate from you. Separate heartbeat, separate DNA....totally different being. So no, I'm sorry but it is not "your body" (I am going to attempt to leave out any description of partial birth or late term abortion here because 1. WHEN the abortion is performed has no bearing in my mind of whether or not it is ok and 2. It only seems to lead to more anger and division which is far from my intent here.)

     Friend, let me just stop and appeal to you here. Not instruct harshly or even "just say" while looking down my nose at you. But let me simply and passionately implore you because I love God and I know He loves you and He instructs me to do the same. That baby? The one that the world says is an inconvenience or a hazard to your health or career or whatever? That baby was created by a loving God who loves you and loves that little body inside of yours.
    
     Psalm 139 says that God weaves us in our mothers' wombs, with great care and wonder. He loves and cherishes every single life that He breathes into existence. And no matter what situation you are facing that has you thinking you have no other way out, I promise you - no, God promises you - He will never leave you. Deuteronomy 31:8 says just that. He will go before you, marching headlong in full battle gear into whatever sticky, messy or downright horrid situation you are facing. We never ever need to be afraid or feel like we have no other way out.

     Some would say "Well, what if a woman is raped?" Well, I have never been forcibly raped and I cannot begin to comprehend the magnitude of this atrocity against a person's body. But I have been taken advantage of before in vulnerable situations and I know that that in particular is even extremely hard to deal with. So, while I do not understand the effects rape, I do understand the feeling of having something stolen from you that you can never get back. Awful, tragic, and lasting are words that do not begin to describe the effects.

     And yet...I still stand firm on my belief that even in this tragic situation God would not want you to snuff out that tiny life. Here's why, friend. Once a woman has gone through that, it is there and there are no take backs on that kind of hurt. There will be years (and quite possibly a lifetime) of Skele-Gro type healing. (Skele-gro...think Harry Potter) But aborting the resulting pregnancy is not going to change what happened. In fact, I truly believe it would only add to the heartache, confusion, and pain.

    Some would say "How can I live with a walking, breathing reminder of the stealing of part of my soul around??" I get it. I truly do. Add to that the complexity and utter confusion of knowing that, in all natural terms, you are actually supposed to be loving this child with an unconditional love but mostly wanting to never look at them again?? I imagine the division of your mind and heart would be something likened to utter madness. Still...the bible also says that children are a gift from the Lord. What if, just what if, this child is a gift of healing? To help the mother by offering that unconditional love as children do best. Just what if out of the dark evil is born pure light-filled innocence? I'm not saying it would be easy but what if you tried? Worse....what if you didn't try?

    And still... there are other ways. There are many desperate, would-be parents in the world unable to conceive. The child could be given to loving parents and he (or she) would never even have to know the circumstances surrounding their birth. Yes, the pregnancy would be incredibly hard but, for me, the good that would come out of it would be at least a tiny bit of salve for my gaping wound.

     Paul said in his letter to the Roman church, "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Yes, yes a million times yes, we should have the utmost compassion and tenderness with a woman who has experienced a rape but I do not for one second believe ending the life of the fetus inside her will help to ease her pain in any way. And, at the risk of sounding harsh, your pain does not give you the right to take a life. No matter who it is or how it came to be. The bible says in Deuteronomy 32:39 that He is the One who gives life and takes it away. It is His responsibility and right and His alone. The same goes for the woman whose health is in danger. Please friend, trust in God. He is near to the broken hearted and He will be with you!

    I am not saying, by any means, that if a woman is facing a rape or an unplanned pregnancy or health crisis that it should be a cut and dry, super easy decision for her. We are human beings for heaven's sake! We feel and bleed and hurt and love and every situation we experience changes and shapes us in innumerable different ways. I'm not saying it should be easy. But I am saying it should be painfully thoughtful and we should wrestle with it in prayer until we are too exhausted to stand on our own! I also think, as the church, we need to be coming alongside of these women and wrestling with them and just being a strong presence of support and deep caring. We are, after all, the hands and feet of Jesus. But I stand firm that I do not believe abortion is ever an acceptable option. Hard does not equal impossible. 

     And, because I feel like when people hear the words pro-life they get this image of a bible-wielding, red-faced, crazy-haired preacher on a mission I just have to inject this here: please know I am not at all judging you for your beliefs or even if you have already made this decision and acted on it (see: disclaimer!). I have committed a multitude of sins in my own life. And yes, He is a God of love and mercy and He is always ready to forgive us if we will only ask Him. But just because He is a God of mercy and forgiveness does not mean we should commit a sin just because we know He will forgive. Would you break your earthly Father's heart by running away from home just because you knew he'd take you back? 

     Let me just close with this final thought. I do not believe abortion is ever a viable option because it states in big bold black letters THERE IS NO HOPE. It sadly snuffs out the life because it believes that life has no value, no chance of being great, no possible way of bringing joy to other lives already existing. It says that God has failed and I know that my God NEVER fails. With God, there is always hope. Always possibility. Our God is the God of hope and I know if you are facing an impossible situation He can help you turn it into possible.

     In the end, after all the arguments and semantics have played out and the political debates have ended, it really boils down to this: God is the One who gave us life. He is the One who has the full right and responsibility to say who lives and who dies. It is not our right to take that away from Him. And if you are a woman in trouble and not sure where to turn I beg you to talk to someone. Heck, talk to me if you need to! I pray that this post does not hurt anyone who is already hurting with this type of situation. But as for offending.....well....at the risk of sounding harsh it is not me you are offended at it is God. (But He still loves you...and so do I!)

Peace and grace to you!! 

   

When The Fire Burns Low

"But the Lord sustains the righteous."  Psalm 37:17 

"In Your righteousness deliver me; incline Your ear to me and save me. Be to me a rock of habitation to which I may continually come; You have given commandment to save me, for You are my rock and my fortress."  Psalm 71:2-3

     Oh Lord, thank You for Your word with which you have sustained me. Sometimes I need to be rescued from others, from the enemy trying to destroy me. And sometime...sometimes I need to be literally rescued by You from my own ungratefulness. 

   I often wondered why many of Your peoples' fires go out. They receive You into their hearts for the first time with all joy and awe and it's amazing the love and happiness and pure glee that spills forth from them. Then somewhere, somehow that fire begins to burn down and...just...slowly...dies. 

     That's how I was feeling today.That is, until You graciously and faithfully reminded me. You took me to these Psalms and showed me what to pray. Because, oh, when my own prayers become tired and feel sluggish and weighed down with "is this good enough, God?" I know that I need to keep praying like I need the air in my lungs You graciously give. But sometimes...I don't know...my heart just can't seem to find it's footing on the mountain of Your praise. But lo, our faithlessness does never nullify Your faithfulness and love. (Romans 3:3)

     I believe we get knocked off the course of our path so easily because we so desperately want that "on fire" feeling to last forever. We want to constantly be walking on Your high mountains and looking out over Your indescribable canyons of never-ending glory. And there is nothing wrong with that. I believe Your never-ending-love-beating heart rejoices that we, Your scurrying and chaotic children, have a place deep inside that just can't get enough of Your holy presence. A place surely created and placed tenderly by Your very own hand.

     But life always creeps in. The dishes must be done. The floor must be swept (again). And the laundry..."wasn't that basket just empty 5 minutes ago and now its gone and bred even more clothes??" And we can't avoid our lives. We can't simply toss everything into the air and change it all up just because we are changed. We must now begin to learn how to live, completely and wholly new, among that which is still the same. Still the same. To the point of being mundane. 

     But You, oh Lord, are never mundane. Your Spirit which You give to us is anything but ordinary. Splendor, majesty, strength, beauty...these are qualities of the Most High! (Psalm 96:6) Your Spirit, which You give to us (to me??) is power and life. (John 14:26, Romans 5:5) Isn't that what we all want, Lord?? To feel wholly and eternally alive??

    So Lord, let me remember that, when I feel the mundaneness of my perpetually still-same schedule creeping in, that You are a rock of habitation to which I may continually come. Let me not put my hope in my feelings and emotions (may it never be!) but only in You and Your beautiful promises Lord. Teach me how to live and walk changed among that which is still the same so that the "same" might also put their hopes in You and become changed too. Holy Spirit, teach me to be faithful to You even, especially, when the flames inside me are burning low, for You are my Source now and always. Amen.

Just In Case Someone Out There Is Broken Like Me

Psalm 145:8-9 NASB

The LORD is gracious and merciful; Slow to anger and great in lovingkindness. The LORD is good to all, And His mercies are over all His works.

Psalm 119:156 NASB

Great are Your mercies, O LORD; Revive me according to Your ordinances.

Lamentations 3:22-23 NASB

The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.

       Today is a new day and if you have breath in your lungs and woke up this morning God has given you another chance. He is the God of mercy and abundant lovingkindness.

      If you are feeling today like you are too far gone and have strayed too far away you need only to read these verses to know that today is a new day the Lord has given you. A gift from His very own hand. If you woke up feeling discouraged or downtrodden know first that you DID wake up. He is saying to you "Get back up. I am giving you a fresh start this morning. Let's tackle this thing together"

       Yesterday is gone and forgotten. (Isaiah 43:25) "I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, And I will not remember your sins." Let us not forget that He has created time in such a way that we cannot go back...only forward. He has done this for a reason. Don't let Satan hold you in the chains of yesterday. God has given you a blessing of another NEW day.

    And, yes, He wants you to do the right thing in His sight. But He also wants you to move forward, believe His promises, and (if necessary and possible) make an attempt to right your wrongs. He will help you. He will move mountains for you if you cry out to Him. We just need to understand some mountains are huge and take a really long time to get out of the way. In the mean time, just put one foot in front of the other.

   I am with you friend. I feel you. I hear the cries of your broken heart. I love you...every part of you (even the broken parts). And Jesus loves us all (jagged edges and rips and all).

Why You Shouldn't Be A Harsh Judge

      Ok, ladies, here's the deal: we are not perfect. We as moms, wives, daughters, friends?? We will make mistakes today. We will stumble (probably a bunch of times) and maybe even fall. We will say something to hurt someone we love or snap at someone out of exasperated pride or maybe even snub a friend when she needs us most. At the very least we will have a few sinful thoughts brewing in our pride-ridden hearts. But Jesus says that He loves us with and everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). So let's muster up the courage to just admit and accept that fact before we even put our weary bare feet on the floor this morning. Let us just look up to our gracious Savior, raise our hands (partly in praise and partly in surrender) and say, "Lord, I accept that I am far from perfect and I know You do not expect me to be that way today. I trust in Your perfection and holiness and know that it is not because of my clean house or perfectly obedient children (ppffftt. . .yeah right) that You love me. But only because You created me and because You are love."

      So your probably saying to yourself right about now, "Trust me, I already know I'm not perfect. I don't need you to tell me." So why, oh why, dear sisters do we as women constantly beat ourselves up over even the silliest, most insignificant things?? Oh...you don't do that? Your balanced and emotionally stable enough to smile calmly and take it in astride when you pick your child up from preschool only to realize his pants have been on backwards ALL day?? (yes, that was me...the poor child) Well then a-maz-ing woman, please friend me on Facebook so I too can learn your secret.

     But let's be real here. While most of us may put on a brave face in light of a faux pas moment, deep inside I believe we are all imaging all sorts of gossipy judgments raining down on us. Or am I the only one here? (c'mon ladies, don't leave me hanging here all alone on the crazy train) And I think also that we can be so used to these imaginary character attacks that we don't even realize how tense and anxious we have become. At least I know that's true for me. And when I talk with my very dear (and very admirable) sisters I realize I am far from alone.

     Ladies, I know our wonderful Savior who created us in such love and dedication would rarely, if ever, be as harsh and demanding and even downright tyrannical on us as we are on ourselves. I mean, He is called the God of forgiveness for a reason. (Nehemiah 9:17) When I think of Jesus putting the scribes and pharisees in their place for judging the sinful woman who anointed His feet with her very own tears... 

     Here is a woman, probably a prostitute (Jesus Himself said her sins were many), probably a total spiritual wreck on the inside. I am willing to bet this poor woman beat herself down daily for her mistakes. I am also willing to bet that this woman was trying her best to survive in a not-so-nice world, doing the best she could with what she had. And our sweet, tender-hearted Jesus still loved her with an everlasting love. He forgave all her sins, which were many because He alone could see deep into her heart. That she desperately wanted to change. To be accepted and loved for who she was inside, not for what she did or said or how she dressed. She wanted to be a better person than who she was. If only she could get out from under the heaviness of society's judgments that covered her like a blanket of bricks, keeping her as low to the ground as possible. She longed to live a different way. A better way. She just didn't know how. (Ever felt like that?)

     And if Jesus, the same God who created us in tender love all the way back in the beginning, so loves to forgive - why, oh why, dear sisters do we not forgive ourselves? Why do we carry around our past mistakes like bricks hidden in our handbags, silently struggling with the weight as we smile politely on the outside? If He removed our transgressions as far from us as the east is from the west, why can't we just. let. it. go? 

     Now this is not to say that we should walk around all sin-happy just because He is a God of forgiveness and grace. Remember the words of the Holy Spirit through Paul: "How can we who died to sin still live in it?" (Romans 6:2) But it is a heart that wants to be better. That recognizes it's dark parts and longs for a Savior to wash it clean. This is the heart that the God of the whole entire universe, who created e-v-e-r-y-thing falls in love with (doesn't it just give you chills?). This is also the heart that is mightily blessed to fall in love with Him.

     I know, as I read blogs and Facebook posts and listen to my dear sisters, that this is the cry of all our hearts. With one resounding and harmonized voice many hearts cry together to the mighty Shepherd "Yes, Lord! We want to know You more so that we can be more like You!" 

     So, today, I offer two challenges. The first has to do with judging others. I know its a hard thing to admit so I'll be the first to come clean: I have had judgmental and criticizing thoughts about my family, friends, even that guy in the post office whom I have never before met in my life (whew! there, I said it). But God's word says there is no partiality with Him. He does not play favorites. (Romans 2:11) He loves the mom losing it with her screaming kid (you know, the one I just judged as a bad mom?) in Walmart just as much as He loves me. So the challenge is: the next time one of those ugly little thought bubbles pops up and attempts to turn you heart against a person who is probably just doing the best they can with what they have, just pop it. Let's, instead, try to imagine how we would feel if somebody said or thought that about us. Let's ask our gracious God for wisdom to see that person through His eyes of love and for a heart softened and changed. (and let's not forget about our own logs...hmm?)

     The second challenge has to do with judgement of ourselves. Remember what the Holy Spirit said about partiality through Paul? Well, the same goes for you and I. Jesus loves us just as much as that perfectly-put-together mom we are comparing ourselves with. (Because, let's face it, how many times have I been that mom in Walmart losing it on my kids?) So here it is: the next time we have a negative thought about ourselves I challenge us to pray first and second figure out what the exact opposite of that thought is (I am pretty, I am a loving wife, my children are not going to grow up to be serial killers) and purposefully think it. Choose to believe it. (And remember Jesus left His heavenly home to come to this earth and suffer greatly and die for you...you really think He'd do all that if He wasn't crazy mad in love with you??)

     Believe me my beautiful sisters (and brothers), I know this is much easier said than done. But I also know if we ask our loving Father for grace and help in time of need He will provide the manna for us (Hebrews 4:16). Just for today...think beautiful thoughts!

"He does not delight in the strength of the horse;

He does not take pleasure in the legs of a man.

The Lord favors those who fear Him,

Those who wait for His lovingkindness."

Psalm 147:10-11

Unconditional

          I opened the boys' bedroom door softly and tiptoed into the darkened room. I had been drinking my morning coffee and relishing some alone time with the Lord when I heard the familiar sound of Ely's soft voice singing in his bed. The sound of my boys' tiny little voices letting me know when they are awake in the morning is one of those things I will remember fondly and my heart will truly ache for when they are grown up and have moved out to start families of their own.



        I went to Elyas' bed first seeing as how he was sitting up and Ephraim was still laying down. I reached down to him and he immediately stood up and climbed into my arms. This is our usual morning ritual. I always try to remember to give them hugs and kisses before they even hit the floor, as I believe it is very important to start the day off feeling loved. Normally, being the bouncy, energetic toddlers they are, they immediately try to squirm out of my grasp and run head long into the day. This morning, however, when I picked up Elyas he neither squirmed nor tried to break free. Instead, he laid his little head on my shoulder and released the full weight of his body into my arms. Completely at rest and completely trusting me to hold him up. He could have been fast asleep if I didn't know any better.

 

         This was such a rare treat to me as I feel like I am always chasing these little bundles of energy around trying to steal just one more minute of snuggle time, just one more kiss. And they are always trying to get away. Sitting still for my boys probably feels similar to what kryptonite felt like for Superman. This morning, though, I was blessed with a special gift. The funny thing is I didn't realize how precious the feeling of them in my arms was or how much I was missing it until that moment. Sure, I pick them up a hundred times a day. But since they developed their own internal sources of renewable energy it's never without them attempting to get away.

        As I stood there holding my baby boy I thought to myself, I wonder if this is how Jesus wants us to lean on Him? The answer came to my heart quickly and without delay - Yes! Ephesians 6:10 tells us to be strong in the strength of His might. Philippians 4:13 says we can do all things through Christ, who strengthens us. We are meant to trust in and rely completely on the Lord - not ourselves! 

         To reiterate this truth, on a few recent nights I have found Elyas not in bed where he was supposed to be but, instead, playing with his trains on the floor in the dark. I didn't know why at the time but it just completely broke my heart and gave birth to such pity for my precious baby boy. To see him so consumed with playing with those toys that he was willing to sit on the cold floor in the dark, instead of warm in his bed, and play all by himself....I just can't describe the love and pity and compassion it gave me for him. I couldn't even bring myself to reprimand him sharply like I normally would have. Instead, all I could do was gently take the trains from him, scoop him up in my arms, and tuck him back in bed. 

         It might sound crazy to some but I believe the Lord, through this experience, was showing me the kind of love He has for us. He sees us through eyes of love. The eyes of a parent. He sees our sin and takes pity on us because of that love. He knows we are desperately flawed. He knows that sometimes we are even a danger to our own physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. And that is why He not only died for us to reconcile us to Himself, but also was raised again to life on the third day so that He can guide us, mature us, love us, protect us. Romans 5:10 speaks of this.

          I think sometimes it can be hard to trust in the Lord not because He is untrustworthy (by no means!) but because of our own sin. The enemy uses our mistakes and shortcomings against us so that we ask the question, How can Jesus possibly love someone like me? He shouts our sins in our face and glaringly illuminates our flaws so that we are unable to see past our own imperfections to the indestructible and unfailing love of God. He is a murderer and, therefore, loves to kill and destroy. Have you ever seen those cartoons with the person wrestling with a decision and a devil is on one shoulder talking in their ear while the angel is on the other side? Those cartoons are not too far off. Satan stands right in our ear and hopes if he talks loudly enough we won't hear the voice on the other shoulder.
       
       The one problem with that is that our Angel, the Spirit of the Lord Jesus, does not merely whisper in our ear and hope we will hear it. He speaks directly to our hearts. Where, even if we don't recognize it at first because of all the other "noise" around, it will burrow deep into the soil and take root. He makes sure the job gets done!

Father, I thank You for being so wise and loving. Thank You for having such pity and compassion for me in my sin. I pray that, by Your Spirit, You will teach me to become more mature - less like me and more like You. Dear Savior, please take any "toys" from my hand that might be keeping me from resting safe and warm in the "bed" of Your everlasting arms. Amen.

Love

     So often I believe the enemy's lie that I am a bad mom, a terrible person, because the feeling of love - of total adoration - does not always come easy for me as a mom of three-year-old boys. Sometimes I have to cultivate that love-feeling by remembering they are a gift from the hand of my loving Creator. By remembering their good qualities in the midst of temper tantrums. By asking for a "huggie" or "kissie" when I honestly don't even want to look at them. And sometimes I have to get on my knees and beg for that feeling. For just one shimmering glimpse through the eyes with which I used to see them when they were infants (before they developed their own will). Through the eyes of their loving Creator.

     And, honestly, it makes me feel like the worst mom e-v-e-r! But I believe that is a lie of the enemy himself. You see, if love were this super easy thing that humans could just feel (and act on) whenever they should, I don't think God would have had to reiterate it so many times throughout the bible. Over and over again He reminds us to love one another - even when we do not feel loved by the other person. 1 Corinthians 14:1 tells us to "pursue love".  In chapter 13, Paul actually describes what true, unconditional love looks like. It is patient, kind, not arrogant or jealous and - most important to me at this stage in my life - is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered and bears all things. Hmm...I wonder why the Lord would feel the need to inspire such a detailed account of true, Godly love. Perhaps because He knows the heart of man?

     There are many more places in the bible where the author (inspired by the Holy Spirit) reminds and challenges us to love. Leviticus 19:18, Deuteronomy 10:19, John 15:12 and Romans 13:8 are all wonderful examples of God's messengers emboldening and encouraging us to love the Lord and love His people. And there are tons more too! The New Testament is woven intricately together with charges to and descriptions of love. Not the way the world loves but the way God loves. The way Jesus loved on that cross.

 

     I believe the Lord knows the human heart and how difficult it can be for us at times. It is so easy for the Holy Spirit's call to love, forgive, and have compassion on to be drowned out by our own pride's call to contend, turn away from and get revenge on. That's why the bible tells us over and over again to pursue love. To put on kindness and compassion (Colassians 3:12). To love our enemies and do good to those who hate us (Luke 6:27). Not to mention all the places where God's beautiful and perfect love for us is described. You know, come to think of it - I can name countless places in the bible where He reminds us to love Him with all our heart and souls, love others and put them before ourselves, and just how great His love for us is. I cannot, however, remember ever reading in the bible a reminder to love myself. Why? Probably because the sinful heart of man needs no reminder to love himself. We do, however, need plenty of reminders to forget about ourselves and put others first! (I know I do, anyway.)

 

     So often we need to look past our feelings and emotions and focus on the word of God. We must learn to tear down - thought by thought and emotion by emotion - the lies satan sells us. "If you don't feel love you don't have to show it" he says. "If you don't feel the love," he lies, "there must not be any in your heart." I can't even tell you how many times I have heard this one - "You should just give up and succumb to your anger." However, I learned something today, as I looked at my child who had just gotten done throwing one of his many temper tantrums of the day. Unlike my fit-throwing little cherub, I don't have to let my emotions boss me around. I can look at my child (or any other person for that matter) faults and all and make the conscience decision to show love to them regardless of how badly they are behaving. (Like I'm such an angel myself!) The amazing thing is this: if I make that decision in my head, the Lord will honor it in my heart. 

     You see, that is what He wants. He doesn't expect His children to be perfect all the time. In fact, He is unscathed and unmiffed (unlike us) when we make the same mistake for the one hundredth time. (Try having that kind of patience with your children!) But He does want us to mature and grow to a point where we say, "Yes Lord! I will follow Your way and not my own!" To be driven less and less by our heart of emotions (which, by the way, will lie to us) and more and more by the desire to obey Him. 

     And like a child who knows not what is best for her (but thinks she does) I will certainly come back to this place again where I am struggling to "feel" the love in my heart for my children. Probably tomorrow when they have spilled their third drink of the day on my just-cleaned kitchen floor or after I've told them (in my nicest mommy voice) for the seventh time to sit on the couch so I can put their shoes on or when they are throwing a royal fit complete with limp bodies laying on the floor and high-pitched wailing because I've told them it's nap time.

 

 

     But what I'm learning more and more lately is that love - true, unconditional love - is about 30% "feeling" and 70% decision. Because eventually that new baby smell and post pregnancy hormones are going to fade away. Eventually the excitement of the new romance and first date flush will disappear. And then what are you left with? A true, 100% raw version of the edited fairy tale you had made up in your head. A real person, unique with all sorts of flaws and quirks and special qualities and talents instilled by the Lord's own hand. That's when you get to make the beautiful decision of loving that person anyway. (Because let's not forget about our own logs!)

     You see, the Lord is teaching me one very special thing about love. True love - Godly love - is more than butterflies in your stomach or a desire to be near EVERY waking moment. It is crying when your loved one is crying. It is rejoicing when he (or she) is rejoicing. It is offering your silent presence when there are no words to say. It is swallowing your pride even when you know you are right. It is enduring heartache and hurt even when you don't deserve it. And, in it's ugliest and most beautiful state, it is staying when all you want to do is leave. Love is more than just a feeling - it's an action. After all, wasn't it pure, holy love when Jesus made the decision to leave His heavenly home and come to dwell among us here in this sin-ridden world? Wasn't it perfect, unconditional love when He chose to stay up on that cross, beaten and broken, and suffer death so that we might live?

            When I think about that, choosing to show my children love in action - even when they are screaming in the middle of Walmart and e-v-e-r-y one is staring at me - doesn't seem like such an impossible task.

 

 

"Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

 

Hope and Patience

     Well it has been SUPER long since I last wrote and so I decided it was time. The Lord is being faithful (as always) to lead me into a deeper and stronger connection with Him and I feel that I need to write it down.

     The other day I was (I believe) under attack from the enemy. I didn't realize it while in the thick of it but later that day I just had this picture in my mind of all these thoughts bombarding and attacking me like little mini kamikaze planes at my head. It was weird but He knew it was exactly the picture I needed to make sense of it. Anyway, I was calling out to Jesus because I knew these thoughts were not only wrong but also not my own. However, I kept thinking that He was ignoring me. As much as I pleaded with Him for help He just stayed silent! I knew even this thought was wrong but couldn't shake it. Yep. I was being driven and pushed around by my emotions. Oh, how I am growing to dislike that word.

     I talked to a very dear friend and mentor later and she really helped me. She said to speak the Word (out loud!) in those moments when I am being attacked and keep speaking it.

     "Even if I don't believe it right then?" I said.

     "Absolutely!" she said. "You don't believe it because you don't feel it." Doesn't make His word any less true. What then? If some did not believe, their unbelief will not nullify the faithfulness of God, will it? (Romans 3:3) She also said to ask God what He wanted me to learn from this situation and trust that He will be faithful to answer.

     "Maybe not today," she said, "but maybe tomorrow or a few days from now. Something will happen or you'll read a verse of scripture and it will just make sense." Hmm....funny she should say that. A few days later when I picked up my bible this is what I read: For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it. (Romans 8:24-25)

     And then, as she had said, it all made sense. The Lord had never once left my side during that time, He was simply allowing me to grow. He was strengthening my faith. I am certain beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I had come too close to the edge He would have reached out and grabbed me. But that's the amazing thing about our Lord. He already knows! He already knew how that was going to play out and He planned it that way. The enemy had an attack planned for that day but Jesus had it planned for my good and His glory.

     The other day I caught myself in something I said to Ephraim. He found a water bottle that had been left out in one of the diaper bags. Of course he wanted to have a sip but I, being the protective mother, did not want to give that one to him because I didn't know if it had been left in the heat at any point in time. (Still not really sure whether that's an urban legend or not but, hey, better safe than sorry.) So I took the water bottle from him, planning to give him a nice cold and fresh water from the fridge, and sure enough he began to cry. "Have patience," I said to him, "I'm going to give you water, just not this water because I have something better for you." Wow. How many times has the Lord said that to me when I complained because I didn't get what I wanted immediately??

     Thank you, Lord, for your patience and slowness to anger with me. Thank you for knowing and giving me exactly what I need instead of what I want. Amen.

    

The Kingdom of Heaven Belongs to Such as These

     Last night at dinner, my husband and I stared at each other in shocked amusement as Ephie reached his little hand carefree-as-could-be over the macaroni and cheese my husband was offering him and helped himself to a few choice French fries instead. He didn't even look up as if to say, "Is this ok?" as he shoveled them into his little button mouth. Eyebrows raised, my husband and I could only gape at him as we wondered whether to laugh or scold him.

We chose neither and continued on with our dinner after exchanging surprised smirks. However, I couldn't help but wonder at the trust of this child. With total ease and complete faith he simply took what his little heart desired and, in all innocence and humility, what he knew his father would not deny him. "Wow!" I thought. "This must be how our Heavenly Father desires us to come to Him."  

  

Ephraim wanted that French fry and he just instinctively knew in his little heart that his father would not deny him that joy. I believe this is how we are to approach the Lord - total and complete trust that He loves us and wants to bless us. When we approach the Lord hesitantly with our prayers, it can become a slippery slope right down to doubting His goodness. I have experienced this many times and I can tell you from experience, it is the crack in the door the enemy longs for. A very good friend recently reminded me of the oldest trick in the book (and I mean LITERALLY the oldest trick in the book). Back in the day when Adam and Eve were hanging out and living life in the beautiful sanctuary of Eden, satan came along and used doubt to trick Eve into disobeying God. We all know the rest of that story!

Now, am I saying that we should just expect the Lord to give us whatever we want, whenever we want it? Absolutely not! If God always just gave us whatever we wanted, wouldn't He be harming us instead of helping us most of the time? If your child said he wanted to go up to the roof of the house and jump off because he wanted to fly would you let him? In the same way we, as children of God, do not always know what is good or right (or even safe) for ourselves. So, while we cannot expect to get every little thing we desire in our hearts (because God is merciful and loving) we ought to approach Him always expecting His goodness. That even if we do not receive what we have prayed for we can know it is for our own good and because HE LOVE US! 

I am quite certain if my husband had told Ephraim, "No, you can have the macaroni I am offering you instead of the French fry" Ephraim, being the child he is, would have been just fine with that. Why? Because he knows who his father is. No matter what happens in his tiny world, he knows without a doubt his father (or mother) will be there to protect and shelter him. He trusts his father wholly and completely because he has never known not to. He may not always like our decisions as parents but he will always (sometimes kicking and screaming) follow us. This is what Jesus was talking about when he told his disciples "Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

"For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake,

But My lovingkindness will not be removed from you,

And My covenant of peace will not be shaken"

Says the Lord who has compassion on you.

Isaiah 54:10